“I found that to be a lot to hold on to at first, but then I realized I want people to feel safe talking to me and to open up and understand that we have to support each other in these moments.” Holker reflected. Since Boss’s death, she said, “I’ve had so many people - specifically men - reaching out to me, how they were so affected because they didn’t realize how much they were holding on to and not expressing.” “Getting up in the morning was getting harder and harder.” “You’re trying to help yourself and help your children and friends and family, and it took a toll,” she said.

Losing the dancer and DJ for Ellen DeGeneres’ talk show, whose social media was often filled by video and photos of him enjoying time with their family, left Holker emotionally and physically spent, she said. “He just wanted to be everyone’s Superman and protector.” He didn’t want people to know,” Holker told the publication. The family has struggled since his death, Hoker said. The pair wed three years after they met as All-Stars the dance competition “So You Think You Can Dance” in 2010.īoss adopted her daughter from a previous relationship, Weslie, now 14, and the couple welcomed daughter Zaia, 3, and son Maddox, 7.

“Stephen brought so much joy to this world, and he deserves to be remembered as the beautiful man he was,” she said.

In her first interview since Boss died at the age of 40, days after their ninth wedding anniversary, Holker told People magazine, “It’s been really hard because I can’t understand what was happening in that moment. It’s been four months since Allison Holker lost her husband Stephen “tWitch” Boss to suicide, and she still doesn’t have many answers.

In sensorium notes for my people